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Short Synopsis
Professional birding amateur and national bestselling author Matt Kracht has had it with these goddamn birds. His new book is a warning, a field guide to help you identify and stay away from the absolute worst birds ever to plague planet Earth. Featuring an all-new scientific scale devised by the author that proves how awful birds really are.

Full Synopsis
We can all agree—birds are terrible. They're stupid and won't shut up.

Featuring fifty of the absolute worst birds to fly the earth, Kracht identifies each of their most terrible qualities, details exactly why they suck, and shows you why. Including all-new, all-worst fowl, such as: the absolute waste of feathers Cruddy Turdstone (Ruddy Turnstone), the utter a-hole Blank Staring-Eyes Flycrapper (Black Paradise Flycatcher), the outright loser Dowdy Woodfucker (Downy Woodpecker), and many more!

Even the author's previous bird takedown guides are no preparation for this hilariously harrowing collection of squawking, conceited, trash-eating, and even murderous idiots. The horror. The horror . . .

LOVE BIRDS? HATE BIRDS?: For those who hate birds and for bird lovers everywhere with a sense of humor, this handbook is equal parts profane and funny, and—let's face it—true.

ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL: This uproarious guide to all things wings includes tips for bird identification, musings on the avian population and classification, and more. Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.

USA Today Bestseller

A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever

Author Matt Kracht

Narrated by Patrick Lawlor

Publication date Mar 11, 2025

Running time 2 hrs 28 min

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