Short Synopsis
The young Mathilda Savitch is furious, awkward, and tender. The book Mathilda Savitch is a compelling must-listen and the debut of an extraordinary novelistic talent.

Full Synopsis
I want to be awful. I want to do awful things and why not? Dull is dull is dull is my life. Like now, it's night, not yet time for bed but too late to be outside, and the two of them reading reading reading with their eyes moving like the lights inside a copy machine. When I was helping put the dishes in the washer tonight, I broke a plate. I said sorry Ma it slipped. But it didn't slip, that's how I am sometimes, and I want to be worse. Awful is easy if you make it your one and only.

Fear doesn't come naturally to Mathilda Savitch. She prefers to look right at the things nobody else can bring themselves to mention: for example, the fact that her beloved older sister is dead, pushed in front of a train by a man who is still on the loose. But after a year of spying and provocations, she's no closer to the truth than she was the day it happened. When Mathilda finally cracks Helen's e-mail password, a secret life opens up, one that swiftly draws her into a world of clouded motives and strange emotion. Somewhere in it lies the key to waking her family up from their dream of grief. To cross into that underworld and see what her sister saw, she has to risk everything that matters to her.

"A stunning portrait of grief and youthful imagination." ---Publishers Weekly Starred Review

"Engaging and humorous yet grappling with serious issues." ---Library Journal Starred Review

"Lodato indelibly captures the fragile vulnerability and fearless bravado of adolescence through Mathildas impeccable voice.... A phenomenal debut." ---Booklist Starred Review

"Prepare to be---in equal measures---charmed and haunted. Because once you get this precocious teen's sad, sharp voice in your head, it's hard to get it out." ---The Christian Science Monitor

"The author crafts a singular voice that combines the disjointed confessional tone of Holden Caulfield with the ethereal sadness of Susie Salmon in The Lovely Bones." ---Kirkus Starred Review

"The outrageous, pitch-perfect voice of this book grabs you up and won't let go. A bravura performance." ---Mary Karr, author of the New York Times bestseller The Liar's Club

"This is a delight and a devil of a book, a tale that fills you with despair and pleasure---often at the same time." ---Time Out New York

Publishers Weekly Review

Library Journal Review

Booklist Review

Kirkus Review

Booklist Bestseller